Even if you are not into annual resolutions, the new year is a great time to reorient yourself after a divorce. Not only can the new year bring new people and experiences into your life, it can help to provide some closure on what you have left behind. Here are 6 ways to use this time wisely and set yourself on the path for your best year yet.
1) Perspective! This does not have to be your physical perspective, although, a nice beach or mountain view does not hurt. Here, it’s important to start reconsidering perspectives you may have had before and during the divorce. For example, instead of seeing it as closing the door on one chapter of your life, view it more as opening a new door to a chapter that is full of possibilities and opportunities waiting for you. And, as an added bonus, you get to use your hard-earned wisdom from your previous marriage and divorce to truly make the most of this new lease.
2) Do not allow the divorce to define you. We all have many different characteristics and life experiences that shape us into who we are as individuals. Allowing any one of those characteristics or life experiences to define all of you necessarily gives short shrift to all of the other wonderful things about you. So, if you are compelled to introduce yourself as “recently divorced,” remember that this one event does not define you. Let it be a part of it, but don’t let it be the whole.
3) Embrace the growth mindset. Instead of deciding that you are broken or stuck, employ the growth mindset way of thinking: use your divorce as an opportunity to learn about yourself, attempt new things, and be okay with things not working out. Most of all, be kind to yourself in this process and see yourself always as a learner about yourself and what you need to be happy.
4) Get your finances in order. If you have not done so already, now is an excellent time to start getting your finances in order, including learning how to manage your finances, planning for retirement, college funds, and other expenditures. Divorce can be particularly expensive for women in this regard if they have not been working or have their own separate retirement funds. The best time is now to start planting these trees so that when you do get ready to retire or make a major financial decision, you can do so with confidence.
5) Take care of yourself. It sounds slightly cliche, but it is also true. The time after a divorce is perhaps the most important time of all to take care of yourself. This means getting enough sleep, eating well, drinking plenty of water (beer, liquor, and wine do not count), and exercising. It will be very tempting to use a divorce as an excuse to eat poorly and give up exercise, which is why it is all the more important to actively and purposely be healthy. Your future self will thank you.
6) Remember that you have survived 100 percent of your bad days: They may have been tough and ugly days, but you survived them. Based on this track record, you are winning.
Divorce can be a transforming experience, something which the attorneys at Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC understand and embrace. Our firm will use our experience from helping many others with their Michigan divorces to help you every step of the way with compassion, empathy, and professionalism. Contact us today to get started.
~Originally posted January 2018~