Author: Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC

Medical Necessity: An Objection to Health Care Reimbursement

Posted on by Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC

Objections to reimbursement for extraordinary medical expenses can be based on the necessity of the expense, a claim that the parent has already paid the expense or to raise any similar defenses to the demand for reimbursement. The objection will be raised by the parent from whom reimbursement is being sought.

One of the objections is that the health expense was for services that were not a medical necessity. Medical necessity has been defined as health care services or supplies needed to diagnose or treat an illness, injury, condition, disease, or its symptoms and that meet accepted standards of medicine. The question becomes who determines if the treatment is a medical necessity. Is it the treating health care provider, the insurance company, politicians or the court? The answer is it depends on when the determination is being made. For medical reimbursement objections, the final determination will be made by the court after reviewing both medical records and insurance records. A requesting parent can be prepared to meet this objection by acting while the treatment is ongoing or shortly thereafter.

The first step in defending against any future objections is to get the documentation immediately. If a health care provider has recommended treatment for the child that is not covered by insurance and will exceed the ordinary uninsured health care threshold, then a request to the health care provider to write a letter detailing why the treatment is a medical necessity is the first step in preparing for such an objection. Retaining copies of all correspondence from the insurance company will also assist in the process. If insurance is provided by other parent, ask that parent to sign whatever documents are necessary to allow copies of insurance correspondence regarding the minor child to be forwarded to non-insuring parent. These steps can be strategic in overcoming objections to reimbursement requests.

For instance, in a matter for extraordinary health care reimbursement handled by this firm, the father contested paying his pro rata share of residential psychological treatment for his child and cited that it was not a medical necessity. The child was being treated for suicidal ideation and depression. The child had been hospitalized for an extended period and spent much of the time at the residential treatment facility on “suicide watch.” When the insurance refused to cover further time at the facility, the custodial parent continued the treatment given that the child had not been taken off suicide watch. The custodial parent had to obtain copies of the treating psychiatrist’s notes, treating therapist’s notes, and staff notes from the facility. Given the age of the child and the mental health code in the state where treatment occurred, the consent of the child to release the records was required. After reviewing the notations about the child’s state of mind and persistent threats to commit suicide, the Friend of the Court Referee determined that the continuation of the treatment for the child was a medical necessity. The father’s objection was based solely on the denial of coverage from the insurance provider. The father did not appeal the Referee’s recommendation to the court.

In another matter for extraordinary health care reimbursement, the paying parent objected to the reimbursement of uninsured expenses for dental treatment. In this matter, the child had chipped a tooth. To properly repair the damaged tooth, a space between the tooth and adjacent tooth had to be repaired. The objection raised by the paying parent was that the additional repair was not a medical necessity. After the requesting parent provided a letter from the treating dentist regarding the treatment and review of the records by a dentist of the paying parent’s choice, the court determined that the treatment was a medical necessity.

As for the other objections that can be raised against reimbursement, detailed record-keeping and accounting should resolve any objection. If parents share joint legal custody, each parent should notify and give the other parent an opportunity to be present for all routine medical, dental, optical and psychological treatment. Furthermore, joint legal custody means that the parents should consult together and attempt to agree before major decisions are made affecting the child’s health. When parents work together on treatment decisions for their child, the agreement should also encompass how the treatment will be paid or reimbursed.

If you are struggling on determining medical necessity with your ex, contact us today! We can help you navigate medical reimbursements with peace of mind.

Medical Reimbursement in the State of Michigan

Posted on by Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC

One of the more nuanced issues involving child support is reimbursement for medical expenses. When one parent is ordered to pay child support, the monthly amount they pay includes a contribution to ordinary medical expenses of the child or children. The Michigan Child Support Formula (MCSF) states that “ordinary medical expenses include the support recipient’s co-payments and deductibles, and uninsured medical-related costs for all children in this case.” (2017 MCSF 3.04(A)(3)). However, issues arise when the parties’ child incurs substantial medical expenses that are greatly in excess of what is considered “ordinary”.

Looking again to the language of the Michigan Child Support Formula, we see that “additional (extra-ordinary) medical expenses consist of the support recipient’s out-of-pocket expenses that exceed the children’s ordered annual ordinary medical expense amount and any uninsured medical expense paid by the support payer.” (2017 MCSF 3.04(A)(4)). The annual ordinary medical expense amount is set by the State and serves as a baseline that can be used in the majority of cases. Courts are permitted to add amounts to the State’s standard amount ($403 in 2017) when it is known at the outset that a child will incur higher expenses. Once a child’s medical expenses exceed the annual amount, the parents share the cost of those expenses based on each parent’s share of the family income. Each parent is responsible for a certain percentage of extraordinary medical expenses.

So what is the remedy when one parent refuses to pay their percentage of extraordinary medical expenses? The parent who is seeking reimbursement for medical expenses should submit a request for health-care expense payment to the other parent within 28 days of either the date the insurance provider has paid on the expenses or the date the insurance provider denies payment. It is important to note that we are talking about reimbursement. That means that the parent must pay the entire amount of expenses themselves and ask the other parent to reimburse them for the portion they are obligated to pay. If the non-paying parent agrees to pay their portion, the parties should make an agreement in writing that lists the expenses to be paid, the total amount to be paid, and the schedule for payment. The agreement must be signed by both parties. If the other parent fails to pay according to the agreement, the parent seeking reimbursement must submit the bill to the friend of the court within six months in order for the friend of the court to enforce payment of the expense.

If the non-paying parent refuses to make an agreement to pay their portion, the parent seeking reimbursement can request that the friend of the court enforce payment of the expenses. To do this, the parent must show that they requested payment within 28 days of the date notified of the balance due after insurance payments and the other parent failed to pay their portion. Bills must be presented to the friend of the court within 1 year of when they were incurred, or six months after the insurer has made a final denial of coverage for the expense. As such, it is essential that a parent requesting reimbursement be aware of how much time has passed since the expense was incurred.

When the parent seeking reimbursement makes a complaint with the friend of the court for enforcement, they must also give notice to the non-paying parent that they have made the complaint. The non-paying parent has 21 days from the time that notice is sent to file a written objection with the friend of the court. If the non-paying parent does not object, the unpaid expenses will be added to that parent’s support account as a healthcare support arrearage.

It is essential that parents be diligent record keepers regarding health care expenses as documentation is required both to secure payment directly and to request the friend of the court to enforce unpaid health care expenses. Parents should make sure that they keep a copy of all medical bills and keep track of the total amount owed by the other parent. Because the parent seeking reimbursement must pay the bill in full first, parents must also be sure that they have proof of such payment. A good way to keep track of bills is to create a spreadsheet that includes columns for the name of the child receiving service, the name of the medical provider, the date of service, the type of service, the total medical cost, the amount paid by insurance, the balance due, the percentage to be paid by the other parent, and the amount owed by the non-paying parent.

How to Navigate Parenting Time in the Summer

Posted on by Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC

Summer vacation is probably one of your child’s favorite times of the year. However, if you share custody of your child with their other parent, summer vacation might be the time of year you dread the most. Navigating parenting time schedules in the summer can be stressful and complicated. Here are a few things to consider when creating your parenting time schedule.

  1. Are you the parent with primary custody?

If you have primary physical custody of your child and their other parent has regular parenting time the other parent might get more time during the summer. In creating parenting time schedules, attorneys and judges try to strike a balance of overnights that are in the child’s best interests. This is done in several ways. For example, if your regular schedule has your child’s other parent having parenting time every other weekend, they might have them for a few days during the week in the summer, in addition to their every other weekend time. It is also common to see a parent who doesn’t have primary physical custody be awarded a full week of parenting time in the summer on a week on, week off basis. Alternatively, some parents flip the parenting time schedule in the summer so that the parent who normally has the children during the week has the children on the weekend during the summer.

  1. What activities is your child participating in over the summer?

Sleep-away camps and athletic camps are popular activities for children during the summer months. If you have a shared custody arrangement, the time your child spends at summer camp needs to be carefully planned with consideration to your parenting time agreement. Many court orders regarding parenting time include provisions that state that one parent may not plan or schedule activities during the other parent’s parenting time without reasonable notice and consent of that parent. Including such a provision in your own parenting time agreement will ensure that you do not have to change your parenting time plan for every summer activity your child is enrolled in.

  1. Vacations that involve long distance travel

Family law attorneys are regularly approached by parents who are concerned that their former spouse or partner wants to take their child out of state or even out of the country for a vacation during summer break. If there is no concern that the other parent is attempting to abscond with the child, there is no prohibition on taking a child on a long-distance vacation. The best way to prevent problems is to plan. Be sure to provide the other parent with a written itinerary of your travel plans.  In addition, it would not hurt to send with the other parent with a written letter from you that states that you have given the other parent permission to travel with the child.

If you are concerned about the other parent absconding with your child, be reassured that state law now requires the insertion in every judgment a provision that states that neither parent can remove the child from the United States and visit a county that is not party to the Hague Convention. You can find a list of the participating or non-participating countries online or ask your attorney for a list.

  1. Vacation itineraries and keeping in touch

Allowing your child to go on a vacation with their other parent understandably creates anxiety. If you have an amicable relationship with the other parent, it may be easy for you to ask them for an itinerary and a way to contact your child, or at least for your child to contact you. If your relationship is not amicable, the other parent may be hesitant to provide you with an itinerary for fear that you will intrude on their vacation time. Remember that almost every court requires that a child have free access to contact both parents at any time. At a minimum, the other parent should provide you with a way to contact your child while they are on vacation. It is important that you to not abuse this information or use it as a tool to harass the other parent or interfere with their vacation. A good rule of thumb is to keep contact limited to a brief nightly phone call to hear about their day and say goodnight.

  1. What about holidays that fall during the summer?

Generally, holiday schedules take precedence over the regular parenting time schedule. Remember this when planning your summer parenting time schedule and vacations as neither should infringe on holiday parenting time. Holidays that are frequently included in summer parenting time schedules include Memorial Day, Father’s Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day. If birthdays of either parent fall during summer vacations and you want to spend time with your children, be sure to include parent’s birthdays in the holiday schedule in the judgment.

  1. How does child support fit into all this?

When your child support is first determined, the number of overnights that each parent will exercise will include the holiday and summer overnights. This has eliminated the need to ask for an abatement of child support when you have the child more than six overnights if you are not the primary custodial parent.

There are no set rules about summer parenting time in Michigan. This gives parents the opportunity to make a summer parenting time schedule that serves the best interests of their child. An experienced family law attorney will have the experience and ingenuity to help you negotiate the precise schedule that works for your individual family’s needs.

If you need help creating or enforcing a summer parenting time schedule, Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC can help. Our experienced attorneys are here to provide case-specific advice to you, and are here to talk whenever you are ready. Give us a call today at (248) 676-8976!

Separation v Divorce v Annulment in Michigan

Posted on by Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC

Separation, divorce, and annulment all seek to end a marriage in some way. Yet, each is uniquely different from the others in what they accomplish, how they are obtained, and their effects. Here’s what you need to know.

Separation: To separate means to move apart, but not necessarily to officially end things. Separation in Michigan can be a viable alternative to divorce if the parties are not willing to or interested in divorcing. There is a legal action called “separation maintenance” in which the couple divides up property, debts, establish child custody, and support, but remain married. This is an attractive option for some couples for religious reasons or possibly tax advantages.

The fact that the couple remains married can have downsides, however. For example, if one spouse takes on debt, the other spouse may still be responsible as the parties are still considered married. A separation using the separation maintenance action may be considered a “life event” in the eyes of life insurance and health insurance companies such that the non-policyholder spouse may be cut out of the policy. Thus, if a spouse receives health insurance through the employer of the other spouse, they may be dropped from coverage due to the separation. One of the stranger consequences is that any children born after the separation but while the parties are still married will be considered to be the children of the two parents, even if there is another father.

Annulment: An annulment is an action to essentially turn back time and make it as if the marriage never happened in the first place. Time travel is impossible, and the law is pretty lousy at erasing things, too, which explains why annulments are actually fairly difficult to get. Annulment in Michigan is usually only granted if there was something unfair or illegal about the marriage in the first place.

Grounds for annulment include the incompetence of a party to consent, one partner was still married to someone else at the time of the subsequent marriage, the spouses are close relatives, one spouse was too young to consent, or one spouse lied or otherwise fraudulently induced the other spouse into marriage. Annulments are absolutely not available if there are children from the marriage or property has been accumulated.

Annulments can make certain legal issues more difficult to untangle such as division of property or spousal support. If the marriage is treated as if it never happened, then it is a viable question as to whether a spouse would be entitled to support as they would in a divorce situation.

Divorce: The most familiar and popular method of ending a marriage is still divorce. The divorce process will determine adequate division of property, support, child custody, parenting, division of debt, and other issues with the added bonus that when it is concluded, both parties are free to marry again.

If you are facing a divorce, separation, or even annulment, it is incredibly empowering to have an experienced and compassionate attorney by your side through the process. Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC can help. Our experienced  Michigan family law attorneys are here to provide case-specific advice to you, and are here to talk whenever you’re ready. Give us a call today at (248) 676-8976!

4 Tips on How to Love Yourself First, Post-Divorce

Posted on by Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC

During the divorce process, we tend to focus more on court dates, housing changes, and custody arrangements, seemingly losing ourselves to the onslaught of monotonous paperwork and meetings. But once the dust has settled and court hearings are a thing of the past, we tend to realize how raw our emotions still are.

Learning how to love yourself doesn’t come naturally to everyone, though. Sometimes we’ve put so much emotional energy into a partner that we don’t know how to exert that same energy into our own self-care.

Here are 4 tips on how to shower yourself with the love you deserve:

1. Identify Something You Truly Enjoy, Then Do That Thing!

Most people have one or two things that they always wished they had time for. Whether it’s writing, taking a painting class, or even taking a course—do it! Part of the beauty that accompanies having more time on your hands is being able to do the things you never had time to do before. Besides, not much says “I love me” more than indulging in something you’ve always wanted to.

2. Start a Gratitude Journal

Sure, it sounds a tad cheesy, but starting your day writing down the things you are thankful for can do wonders for your mental state throughout the day. And it doesn’t always have to be entries like “I’m thankful for my job or my car.”  You can always remind yourself of how many of the little things you have to be grateful for too; i.e., your children getting so excited to see you after work that they spilled their juice, or the fact that you pre-planned your meals this week so you have more time to relax in the evenings.

Regular journaling can have fantastic affects on your overall attitude about yourself, your life, and all that it has to offer you every day.

3. RELAX

Nope this isn’t a joke. As a matter of fact, this might be the most important act of self-love you can bestow upon yourself. While it’s true divorce often brings about more free time, it can also bring more stress as you learn to juggle life sans a partner. The reality of shuffling the kids to practice on your own, or remembering whose day it is to pick them up, or just simple tasks (like grocery shopping when your former spouse used to do it) can be overwhelming.

In the midst of the chaos, learn to relax. Accept the fact that sometimes you’ll go to bed with dishes in the sink, laundry will go undone, and take-out food is ok. Whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up or stress yourself out trying to do it all. You are human! Put your need to rest or play with your children ahead of the things that can be done later, and don’t stress about it!

4. Do Something Physical Every Day

This is perhaps the most difficult item on the list, but VERY important. Part of truly loving yourself is to take care of yourself: emotionally, mentally, and physically. Regular exercise not only has incredible benefits to your physique, but it also is one of the most recommended outlets for depression and anxiety. Just 30 min of physical activity a day can increase serotonin levels—making you happier and less prone to stress, can help you sleep better, improve your skin, and add years to your life. If you aren’t inclined to hit the gym just yet, spend 30 minutes doing some guided yoga, walking the dogs, or jumping around with your kids. You’ll quickly notice positive benefits, and establish an exercise routine you actually look forward to.

Of course these are just some of the ways that you can improve on loving and caring for you. Eating well, meditation, travel, and pampering yourself from time to time are also great ways to show you that you care! In addition to establishing a healthy outlook for yourself, the people around you will benefit from the shift in your mindset too.

Family changes are never easy, but they can be manageable. If you need guidance and direction with your divorce, child custody, or any other potential family law matters, Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC can help. Our experienced  Michigan family law  attorneys are here to provide case-specific advice to you, and are here to talk whenever you’re ready. Give us a call today at (248) 676-8976!

~Originally posted February 2018~

Start the New Year Right Post-Divorce: 6 Ways You Can Make This Year the Best Year Yet

Posted on by Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC

Even if you are not into annual resolutions, the new year is a great time to reorient yourself after a divorce. Not only can the new year bring new people and experiences into your life, it can help to provide some closure on what you have left behind. Here are 6 ways to use this time wisely and set yourself on the path for your best year yet.

1) Perspective! This does not have to be your physical perspective, although, a nice beach or mountain view does not hurt. Here, it’s important to start reconsidering perspectives you may have had before and during the divorce. For example, instead of seeing it as closing the door on one chapter of your life, view it more as opening a new door to a chapter that is full of possibilities and opportunities waiting for you. And, as an added bonus, you get to use your hard-earned wisdom from your previous marriage and divorce to truly make the most of this new lease.

2) Do not allow the divorce to define you. We all have many different characteristics and life experiences that shape us into who we are as individuals. Allowing any one of those characteristics or life experiences to define all of you necessarily gives short shrift to all of the other wonderful things about you. So, if you are compelled to introduce yourself as “recently divorced,” remember that this one event does not define you. Let it be a part of it, but don’t let it be the whole.

3) Embrace the growth mindset. Instead of deciding that you are broken or stuck, employ the growth mindset way of thinking: use your divorce as an opportunity to learn about yourself, attempt new things, and be okay with things not working out. Most of all, be kind to yourself in this process and see yourself always as a learner about yourself and what you need to be happy.

4) Get your finances in order. If you have not done so already, now is an excellent time to start getting your finances in order, including learning how to manage your finances, planning for retirement, college funds, and other expenditures. Divorce can be particularly expensive for women in this regard if they have not been working or have their own separate retirement funds. The best time is now to start planting these trees so that when you do get ready to retire or make a major financial decision, you can do so with confidence.

5) Take care of yourself. It sounds slightly cliche, but it is also true. The time after a divorce is perhaps the most important time of all to take care of yourself. This means getting enough sleep, eating well, drinking plenty of water (beer, liquor, and wine do not count), and exercising. It will be very tempting to use a divorce as an excuse to eat poorly and give up exercise, which is why it is all the more important to actively and purposely be healthy. Your future self will thank you.

6) Remember that you have survived 100 percent of your bad days: They may have been tough and ugly days, but you survived them. Based on this track record, you are winning. 

Divorce can be a transforming experience, something which the attorneys at Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC understand and embrace. Our firm will use our experience from helping many others with their Michigan divorces to help you every step of the way with compassion, empathy, and professionalism. Contact us  today to get started.  

~Originally posted January 2018~

 

What Is a Postnuptial Agreement and What Are Its Advantages?

Posted on by Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC

We’ve all heard of prenuptial agreements – agreements signed between two parties before they get married – but postnuptial agreements are a rare breed. They do exist, however, and are recognized in Michigan. They are essentially an agreement signed after the parties wed and are designed to protect property of an individual in the event of death, divorce, or separation.

The validity of postnuptial agreements in Michigan is a relatively new development as they have tended to be viewed by the courts as being against public policy. The reasoning was that a postnuptial agreement could act as an enforceable contract that encourages or otherwise moves the couple towards divorce or separation rather than staying together, which is the purpose of matrimony. There was also the fear that postnuptial agreements would benefit one party and be a substantial detriment to the other party.

A postnuptial agreement is valid and enforceable, however, when it seeks to further the marriage in some way, for example by requiring the parties to seek marital counseling before pursuing divorce or to take other steps that are designed to preserve, rather than break up, the marriage. It is also important that the agreement does not contemplate providing one party an advantage over the other in the event the couple should decide to split.

Postnuptial agreements are useful not just for binding two parties to more intensive measures to save the marriage. They can also be very helpful in protecting property of one party in the event of divorce without actually advocating or pushing for an actual divorce. They can also be useful for establishing alimony protection, again without encouraging a divorce. Essentially, these kinds of postnuptial agreements can act as late prenuptial agreements, which are not designed to end a marriage, but rather ensure the position of the parties relative to each other in the event of dissolution or death.

The emphasis in any postnuptial agreement must be that it is drafted and executed for the purpose of preserving the harmony of the marriage, and not for the inevitable dissolution of the union. It must also be inherently fair to both parties and not obviously lopsided in favor of one spouse over another. Part of this fairness must be that both parties enter into the agreement with full knowledge of the agreement and its ramifications, and ideally each have their own legal counsel to advise them as to the agreement’s effects on them individually.

Postnuptial agreements where one party coerces the other to sign by misrepresenting the contents of the agreement or otherwise fraudulently obtains their consent will be declared invalid. Similarly, postnuptial agreements that are created before circumstances change dramatically may not be enforced simply because the enforcement of the agreement under the new circumstances would be unfair to a party. For example, if one party wins the lottery and the postnuptial agreement states that any lottery winnings would belong solely to the party who won, the other party would be at a great disadvantage under the agreement. 

If you have questions about postnuptial agreements or any family law matter, contact the attorneys at Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC. They have the knowledge, understanding, and experience to help walk you through these important decisions.

~Originally posted in December 2017~

Understanding Post-Judgment Modifications in Michigan

Posted on by Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC

Not only is it possible that at some point a divorce judgment may be modified, it is fairly likely. Parents may need to move for job changes, child support amounts may need to be amended depending upon the needs of the child or the circumstances of the parent, and parenting plans may need tweaking. All of these changes and others are handled through a request filed with the court to modify the current judgment. Modifications can be filed for child support, child custody, parenting time, and spousal support.

What is it exactly?

To understand post-judgment modifications, it is important to know what your judgment actually sets forth to start. For example, your parenting plan may be extremely specific as to times and dates of custody and scheduling. On the other hand, the plan could merely state that the parties will share reasonable and regular parenting time. In the former case, a modification of the judgment parenting plan would likely be required even for minor changes to the parenting plan. In the latter, modification may not be required at all if the changes still fit within the reasonable and regular parenting time schedule.

When can you make a modification?

If a modification does need to be made, a motion to modify must be made with the requisite initial showing of the moving party that there is a good reason for the change. In child support modification cases, there must be a “substantial change of circumstances” to justify the change. Changes that would qualify as substantial include a parent losing a job, a parent becoming employed or getting a raise, the cost of raising the child has increased, or a change in custody arrangements. Note that Michigan prohibits retroactive changes in child support, so the sooner after the change in circumstances you file a modification request, the better.

In cases where spousal

 support has been awarded, it is possible to modify the award where circumstances have changed. However, if the parties agreed in the original decree that the spousal support judgment would be non-modifiable, the judgment cannot be modified, even in situations where there has been a dramatic change in circumstances. Where the parties have not agreed that the judgment is not modifiable, then petitions can be made to modify the spousal support if there has been a change of circumstances. Qualifying changes include an increase or decrease in the income of the payor or illness of the recipient spouse. The ex-spouse seeking the change bears the burden of proof to show that the change is warranted, but can only be entitled to retroactive modification dating back to the date that the motion to modify is filed.

Contact Us

If you are looking to modify a judgment of child support, spousal support, or something similar, the best place to start is by contacting a qualified and knowledgeable Michigan family law attorney, such as an attorney with Melissa Pearce & Associations, PLC. Our attorneys provide compassionate, efficient, and high quality representation in a wide range of family law matters and are ready to help you. Call us at (248) 676-8976 today.

~Originally Published in november 2017~

4 Signs of Domestic Violence

Posted on by Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC

Domestic violence is still far too common and misunderstood in our society. Yet, it can be a difficult topic to discuss and even harder to spot. Women and men who are suffering from domestic violence will not likely come right out and admit it, either for fear of reprisal or because they themselves are not fully aware. One of the first steps to combating domestic violence, however, is to know what to look for.

1) The person is withdrawing. Domestic violence is not always physical violence. Often times, it can be emotional or mental abuse wherein one partner works to dominate and control the other partner. They will use fear, shame, and guilt to manipulate and isolate the other partner from their support systems and those who might be able to figure out what is going on. They will blame the other partner for the abuse, humiliate and yell at the other partner, and limit their access to the phone, the car, and money. Women are more likely to be victims, but they too can be perpetrators, particularly with verbal and emotional abuse.

2) The person has unexplained injuries. Most people will have bumps and bruises from benign events that do not raise eyebrows. Where those bumps and bruises become more common and are in places that are unusual, the possibility of some sort of physical violence in the home goes up. This is especially true if the person is also withdrawing from friends and family and giving vag

ue and unconvincing explanations for recent scrapes and injuries.

3) The person is fearful. Fear is an abuser’s most potent weapon in establishing and maintaining control over another partner. There can be fear of physical or sexual violence, as well as fear that the abuser will take away the partner’s children. There is also fear of the abuser’s uncontrollable temper or threats to commit suicide if the person should leave. Not surprisingl

y, this fear will likely spill over into all other aspects of the person’s life.

4) They are being worn down by the stress. Living with an abuser can be extremely stressful. Hypervigilance about staying on the abuser’s “good side”, or not making them angry, or just keeping the children safe means that the person may not be sleeping very much or eating. They may have unexplained headaches, digestive problems, asthma, or back pain. These are directly related to the constant stress of being in an abusive relationship and may be far more telling than any other factor that something is terribly wrong.

Domestic Violence and Gun Ownership in Michigan

If you are a victim of domestic violence, there are safe places in Michigan that can help you including First Step Shelter. If you are safe, but need legal guidance on how to extricate yourself from the relationship or to ensure the safety of your children, trust the attorneys at Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC who will handle your case with compassion and efficiency. Call us at (248) 676-8976 today.With respect to gun ownership and domestic violence, Michigan has neither the strictest nor the most lax laws in the United States. Anyone convicted of domestic violence or domestic assault in Michigan is prohibited from applying for a concealed pistol license for eight years after the conviction. Even then, the judge in the case has broad discretion to add additional restrictions on an individual’s ability to purchase, carry, transport, or possess any firearm.

~Originally Published in November 2017~

5 Ways a Divorce Can Benefit the Children

Posted on by Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC

Children are often portrayed as the losers in divorce because the assumption is that they would be better off with two parents in the same household, rather than shuffling between homes, or worse, being used as a pawn in the larger divorce fight. However, it is possible for divorce to be beneficial for children. Here’s how.

1) Happier adults make happier children. If two people together are truly miserable, that misery will inevitably cascade onto the children of the marriage. The children may be brought into the overall unhappiness between the partners and be asked to take sides. Divorce in this case can free all of the parties from this tension because it allows the adults to remove the main stressor from their lives and start working on a new life. There are huge caveats, of course, namely that this process may take some time for everyone, but in the end, the net benefits of happiness can outweigh everything else.

2) You can teach your kids a really valuable lesson on working together. One of the hardest skills to master as an adult is being able to work effectively toward a common goal with someone who is diametrically opposed to them. Couples who divorce and then co-parent have a rich opportunity to show their children how to work with someone else with whom they may not get along with or even necessarily like. Modeling this incredibly difficult skill for your children will pay off for them down the road as they begin to navigate the world as adults.

3) You can teach your children about respect. There is a reason divorcing parents are counseled not to speak badly of their partner or future co-parent. This is partly because just divorce may end the relationship on paper, but the parties will still need to work together to parent. But, the other reason is that how a parent talks about their co-parent teaches their children how to treat people from all walks of life, even those they may not like at all. It also models to them how to be an adult in a relationship, even if that relationship goes sour. These are invaluable skills for your children to pick up when they get older.

4) They might get two extra parents out of the deal. Step-parents get a bad rap many times. They step into what can be a fraught situation and try to make the best of it. Sometimes, though, the partners that co-parents find themselves with can enhance the lives of the children involved. In the best case scenario, a child can get an additional two parents who are loving and supportive of them.

5) They end up with more one-on-one time with both parents. Assuming divorcing parents opt for joint custody and the children move between homes, it is very possible that the children will be able to have to time to develop a closer relationship with either parent since the other parent is no longer there during visits.

Divorce is never easy and certainly not for the children involved. However, it is possible for silver linings to be found in the numerous clouds both for you and for your children. If you are getting divorced or looking at divorce, contact Melissa Pearce and let her help you navigate the process. She has been where you are and understands what you are going through and what you need. Contact her today to get started.

~Originally Posted in August 2017~