Tag: parenting time

The First Step in Modifying Custody and Parenting Time Orders

Posted on by Melissa Pearce

Your Judgment of Divorce has been entered with the court. But the entry of the Judgment of Divorce has not stopped the issues with your ex-spouse that led to the divorce first place. Now, you are being denied parenting time or being left in the dark on decisions about medical care, schooling, or childcare. How far back in time can you go to help the court understand the issues you have been having?

The courts are limited in what they can do by what the statutes and case law have said about modifying previous orders. For child custody and parenting time, there are statutes and case law that controls the actions and the sequence of those actions that a court can implement.

First, the courts are instructed by statute that a previously entered order cannot be modified unless proper cause or a change of circumstances has been shown. MCL 722.27(1)(c). The party seeking the modification only needs to show one or the other and not both.

Proper cause has been defined as an appropriate reason for the court to change custody currently exists. This would be something that is serious enough to have a significant impact on the child’s well-being. It would also be relevant to at least one of the best interests of the child factors. The moving party will likely to have to prove their case by a preponderance of the evidence (51% certainty or more likely than not).

Change of circumstances requires proving that since the date of the last custody order, the conditions surrounding the child, which have or could have a significant effect on the child’s well-being, have materially changed. Any problems that existed prior to the last order that was entered are not relevant. In addition, the change must be not one that can be seen as a normal life change in a child’s life, such as changing schools, participating in extracurricular events, or the other parent remarrying. Evidence must be presented that the change of circumstances has had or most certainly will have an effect on the child. An effect to one parent or the other will not be enough as the court looks at the best interests of the child. The court will determine each case on its fact and how those facts relate to the best interests of the child.

Change of circumstances is the requirement that clients struggle to understand fully. Some common substantial change of circumstances may include the following: a loss or gain of employment, a sudden change in either party’s finances, a relocation of the parties or children, or a death. The key phrase we emphasize to client is that the conditions that could have a significant effect on the child’s well-being have materially changed. This means the change is not temporary or agreed to by the parties.

Understanding the two grounds for seeking a modification of an existing order leads us to the answer. Generally, the courts will only consider events that have happened since the entry of the last order to determine if the court will be able to decide on requested modification can be heard. This is the first step in seeking a modification in a current custody or parenting time order.

Children, Parenting Time and Covid-19

Posted on by Melissa Pearce

With the Governor issuing her Stay Home, Stay Safe Executive Order on March 23, 2020 many are worried about how the order will impact their parenting time. As parents we know that seeing each parent is important for children. With the current crisis, maintaining contact with both parents will be even more important. Here is what you can do to help minimize the anxiety may be feeling.

The Executive Order does not mean the children will not see the other parent as scheduled.

Parents are still allowed to transport children to and from parenting time with the other parent. The Executive Order is not a reason to deny parenting time with the other parent. However, if your children are sick, communicate with the other parent and find out if the other parent still wants to take the children or if the two of you can work a make-up schedule to minimize the number of people exposed to any cold, illness or virus. Remember a cough, sneeze, or fever does not mean that someone is infected with the coronavirus. The symptoms are similar to the common cold, the flu and other illnesses we have been exposed to before this virus.

Follow your holiday parenting schedules.

Even though it may not be possible to travel to Florida or other Spring Break destinations right now, continue to follow the holiday parenting order in your parenting time order. The children have been looking forward to this time with the other parent. The Covid-19 crisis is not a reason to deny this parenting time. If it is your holiday this Spring Break and Easter, find alternate activities that you can do during the Stay Home, Stay Safe Order. Perhaps, you can pitch a tent in the backyard, go on a hike in a local park with social distancing maintained and photograph spring happenings, or rent a movie to watch and create your movie theater.

Allow the children to have more contact with the other parent.

The children may be worried about the other parent or family members, particularly grandparents, from the other parent’s side of the family. Allow and encourage your children to FaceTime or video conference with those family members. This is not a time to be limiting contact with other family members and it can be done virtually. You can sign for a free Zoom account and schedule designated times for these calls. The children can also record video messages to be sent to family members.

Limit your disagreements in earshot of children.

The normal routine for children has been disrupted. Now is not the time to engage in disagreements in front of children. They will pick upon your anxiety and anger. If you need to have a heated discussion, go outside or try sending it through email or texts. Remember that children may access your devices and read these conversations. If you need to save the conversation, consider saving it to a password-protected file

If you are having difficulty with the other parent in following the parenting time order, do not wait to contact an attorney on what to do. Here, at Melissa Pearce & Associates, we are still working during this time, even though we are doing so remotely. We can answer your questions, brainstorm possible solutions outside of the court, and offer other suggestions to assist you. If you speak with one of our attorneys, call (248) 956-6933 for assistance today.

PARENTING TIME AND THE COVID-19 CRISIS

Posted on by Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC

Discussions, memes, news reports and social media are inundated with information about Covid-19. What is not being covered what are divorced parents and single parents with custody orders are doing in regard to parenting time amidst the restrictions that we are seeing. Here are some things that you can do to maintain normalcy during this time of health concerns and crisis.

Follow your parenting time orders.

These are the orders that you agreed to or the court ordered prior to the Covid-19 crisis. What is written in the order is what the courts will enforce. Some individuals are questioning the ability of the court to enforce the orders when courts are limiting the hearings that they are handling right now. Oakland County Circuit Court has issued an emergency order that the court handling essential matters, which includes divorce, custody and parenting time matters alleging an immediate threat of harm to the children. In addition, all motion hearings are adjourned through March 31st. However, the court may hear an emergency motions by telephone.

If the other parent is denying you parenting time now, find out the reasons for the denial. Is your child sick and needs to be quarantined until the illness is confirmed by medical personnel or your child recovers? Does your child have a medical issue that makes them immunocompromised and the other parent is concerned about the child being outside?

Holiday parenting time, particularly Spring Break.

This has been a big topic recently in attorney forums and message boards. Clients across the state are wondering what to do about Spring Break and the school closure. First, have a conversation with the other parent. Ask what he or she thinks should happen. Share your thoughts with them. This is good starting point. Are you both in agreement to follow the school calendar posted last fall and follow the designated days for Spring Break on that calendar? If so, follow the parenting time order that you currently have.

Can we reach an agreement now?

Yes, you are always capable of modifying the parenting time agreement for the best interests of your children. If both parents agree that multiple exchanges are not good for the children and have worked out a compromise that maintains contact between both parents and the children during this time with minimal exchanges with a return normal parenting time after the crisis passes with some make-up parenting time, then reducing that agreement in writing as a Stipulated Order to be signed by the Judge and filed with the court is the best way to document the agreement and prevent conflict later.

Solutions available now

The key to managing and following the parenting time orders is to communicate with each other about what is best for the children. If you are having difficulties communicating with the other parent, contact an attorney today to assist you. Attorneys across the state are offering alternatives means of communicating with their offices outside of actually coming into a physical office. Ask what the attorney’s firm has available for you to have an initial consult with the attorney. Here are Melissa Pearce & Associates, we are rolling out several new services and options to help our clients in handling parenting time disputes quickly and with minimal court involvement. We are creating a page that places all our Covid-19 information in one space for our clients.

If you need help resolving any parenting time issue during this crisis call us at (248) 956-6933.

What is Custody, Parenting Time, Child Support, and Medical Support?

Posted on by Melissa Pearce

When it comes to children and divorce, there can be confusion on legal custody, physical custody, parenting time, child support and medical support. Each one of these is a separate issue that must be resolved before the Judgment of Divorce is entered. This blog is introductory on what each one is, and we will explore them in further depth in upcoming blogs.

Legal Custody.

First, legal custody means that a parent has the right make important decisions about your children, such as where they go to school, what religion they are, and major medical decisions. There are two ways this is handled in Michigan. The first way is that the court can award sole legal custody to one parent. This is become the exception more than the rule. The second way is that the court can award joint legal custody to both parents. This is when both parents would have to work together and agree on each of the decisions. If the parents cannot agree, then either one can petition the court for a decision.

Physical Custody.

Physical custody is who the child lives with after the divorce is finalized. If parties can agree, then the physical custody can be one that consider both parents’ work schedules, distances to school, ability to transport back and forth to school for each parent, extracurricular activities of the children, and any unique of the children or parents. The schedule should promote what is best for the child and not necessarily what is the most convenient or desired outcome for either parent.

Parenting Time.

Parenting time is the time the non-custodial parent (the parent who does not have the child living with him or her most of the time) spends with the child. For parents with joint physical custody, this would be the time the child spends in his or her house. Each county has a version of standard parenting time. However, the parties can craft a parenting time schedule that is best for children and considers work schedules, distance to school, ability to transport the child to school, need for childcare, and extracurricular activities. For some parents, parenting time may be supervised for a period of time and would be dependent on the circumstances for those parents and children. Parenting time cannot be denied if child support is not paid.

Child Support.

Child support is money a parent pays to help meet his or her child’s needs when the parent is not living with the child. The court orders the support based on the Michigan Child Support Formula. Support may include payment of the expenses of medical, dental, and other health care, childcare expenses, and school expenses. If either party receives state assistance in any form, then the parties cannot deviate from the child support formula. Child support cannot be denied if parenting time is not occurring.

Medical Support.

Medical support is a form of child support that is often provided through an employer’s health insurance plan. Child support agencies will send a National Medical Support Notice (NMSN) to the employer to order coverage for an employee’s children. The medical support language is contained within the Uniform Child Support Order. It will designate if one or both parents will maintain medical insurance on the children. It will also set a limit of the parent’s income to be used to obtain the medical insurance. If the cost of medical insurance exceeds the limit, the parent can petition to not have the insurance. If both parents are carrying medical insurance on the children, then one parent’s insurance will be primary, and the other’s will be secondary. The order will determine how much each parent will pay toward any uninsured medical expenses not covered by the insurance.

Each one of these areas are considered separately from the others. Although some areas can affect another area. For instance, the number of overnights exercised by a parent for parenting time will impact the amount of child support. However, which parent has legal custody will not change the outcome of child support including medical support.

If you have minor children and are considering divorce, call us to learn more about how a divorce will impact your children and what you can do to minimize that impact.

Parenting Time During the Holidays

Posted on by Melissa Pearce

If you are beginning the divorce process, the holiday season can bring up emotional stress.  In the past, your family may have enjoyed holiday traditions as a family.  However, things will change, and the holiday season will be spent without children present or celebrated on alternate days to accommodate parenting time schedules.  Children will adapt if their parents are handling the change with composure. In the weeks leading up to the holiday season, discuss how you plan to celebrate the holidays once the divorce is final.   If your children are old enough, have a family meeting to discuss the change in the holiday family traditions.  Reassure them that celebrating the holidays with each parent separately is fine and that many of their classmates have two holiday celebrations.

The first holiday during a divorce will be fraught with memories of previous holidays and traditions you once shared. Expect to feel sad and remember that your children will be experiencing their own set of feeling.  Have open discussions with your children, if appropriate, about how the change is affecting them. Use this year to make new traditions. If you have always spent Thanksgiving with your spouse’s family, consider visiting yours for a change. Consider volunteering at a local soup kitchen or having a Friendsgiving. When dealing with a divorce, try not to focus on how things were, but how you can redefine or improve your holiday traditions.

One of the most important things to discuss about this holiday season is parenting time. Part of dealing with divorce, especially when you have children, is not letting bitterness color the holiday for you or your children. The other thing to remember is to not speak ill of the other parent to your kids as children can self-identify with the other parent.  Refrain from complaining to your children about having to “share” them for the holidays as children have a right to be a child. If your children are old enough to understand what is happening, chances are they already feel guilty about not being able to see both parents on Thanksgiving.

While a life transition like divorce can consume your thoughts and emotions, remember the holidays are meant to be a time of peace. The very definition of Thanksgiving is “giving thanks.” Take some time to sit down and write out what you are thankful for. Life transitions are never easy, and there may be days where all you want to do is escape the situation. By taking little steps at a time, you and your children will be able to adapt.

If you are struggling with post-judgment parenting time or other issues, the team at Melissa Pearce & Associates is here to help bring back the peace in your holiday season. Call us today at (248)329-0344 to discuss your options.

How Can You Make Back-to-School Easier After Divorce?

Posted on by Melissa Pearce & Associates, PLC

The beginning of the school year can be an exciting time for children. They are excited to learn who their new teacher is and if any of their friends are in their class this year. They may look forward to the annual school clothes shopping sprees or want to pick out their new school supplies. However, when parents are divorced, the new school year can bring about anxiety for children, especially when their parents do not get along amicably. Here are the best tips I have discovered to start the new school year off on a positive note for children.

  1. Use technology to share information. With the choices we have today, co-parenting can be made easy and information shared openly, even when you do not want to talk with the other parent. There are apps for the phone and computer that allow parents to communicate without having to have face-to-face conversations. Parents have the option of using a shared Google calendar, Our Family Wizard, CoParenter, AppClose, TalkingParents, WeParent, 2houses, or Truece to share information. The key to all these apps is that the parents agree on which one to use and both have signed up for an account. Some of the apps charge yearly fees and others are completely free. Some of the apps will allow parents to add third parties to the group, such as the children, grandparents, or professionals that are assisting the family. If you do add a professional, notify the other parent of who has been added. Do your research and agree on which application to use to communicate. Reach an agreement for a deadline to respond by, so everyone is clear on what is a reasonable time to expect a response, if one is needed. By using an agreed upon method of communication, parents can send messages or upload information for the other parent without worrying about interrupting work.
  2. Review your court order.  The start of the new school year is a good time to pull out your judgment and review its terms. If you have had post-judgment issues resolved during the previous school year, pull out those orders as well. If you have joint legal custody, remember that the other parent needs to be include in decisions regarding the child’s education. Decide if the school should be provided with a copy of the judgment or order. This may be necessary if one parent has restricted or supervised parenting time, the court has limited one parenting from picking up the children, etc. If the school should have a copy, provide it with the completed school forms.
  3. Plan for attending school activities in a positive manner. When parents do not get along or fight every time they talk, plans should be made for attending school activities. Decide if the parents will alternate months on helping in the classroom or attending field trips. Talk to the teacher about options for parent-teacher conferences. Are the teachers willing to have two separate conferences? Ask if a parent can attend by telephone, if that parent does not live close to the school district? For school concerts and plays, both parents can sit on opposite sides of the room and not speak to one another. The important thing to remember is that the child can experience the support of both parents without feeling like the child has to choose or is waiting for a blow-up. For some activities, each parent may have to decide to put their differences aside for a few hours.
  4. Properly fill out school forms and alert school personnel to our family dynamics. When filling out the school forms, list each parent’s name in the appropriate slot with their known contact information. This lets the school know who the legal parents are and how to reach them. If you have remarried, identify your spouse with the appropriate title. It can be helpful to let the teacher know how the child prefers to address stepparents. Agree on who the emergency contact individuals will be.
  5. Plan to share the cost of school supplies. Start discussing how to share the costs of supplies after the Fourth of July, if it is not clear in your court orders. Will costs be shared equally, or pro rata based on the parties’ incomes? Understand that the items being purchased are for the children and not property of the parents. The children should be allowed to freely move their school supplies between houses and school as the child needs. Discuss on the requested supplies for the classroom will shared. There should be discussions and an agreement as to whether one parent will do the shopping and the other parent will reimburse or if each parent will separately purchase their share.
  6. Allow the other parent to enjoy the first day of school. Discuss with the other parent if they would like to jointly attend sending the child to the first day of school. It may not be possible due to work schedules or distance between homes but be willing to extend an invitation. If the other parent cannot join in sending the child off to the first day of school, then share photos from the first day in a shared account or in social media that the other parent can see. Remember this is a day for the child.
  7. Discuss ahead of time what extracurricular activities the child can participate in throughout the school year. The start of a new school year is a good time to discuss how many and which extracurricular activities the child can participate in. A good starting point is what is written in the court orders regarding activities. Discuss with the other parent if there is a limit to the amount of funds that you can contribute toward extracurriculars. Extracurricular activities can include sporting teams, dance, after-school clubs, scouting, band, orchestra, or music lessons. If there is a disagreement about the child participating in a winter or spring sport, now is the time to bring the matter before the court for its assistance in resolving the dispute. If you wait until the start of the season, the child may not be able to participate that year.
  8. Decide how to handle school emergencies and unexpected school closings. Discuss with the other parent what information to communicate to the school on who to contact when there is an emergency or school unexpected closes. The discussion should include how the unexpected school closing impacts the parenting time schedule and an agreed upon time to exchange the child if one parent picks up from school outside of his or her scheduled parenting time. Decide now if there will be a group chat that will be used when an emergency or unexpected school closing happens.
  9. Sync up the afterschool and bedtime routines. Both parents should be open to establishing the same routines for after school and at bedtime. Providing your children with joint routines and rules for both houses will minimize the time it takes children to re-acclimate to each parent’s house rules and expectations.
  10. Talk to your children.If your children are old enough, ask them what extracurriculars that they want to do. Find out what routines work best for child to accomplish everything that the child needs to get done. Hold your older child responsible for transporting schoolbooks and supplies between both houses.

The important thing to remember about starting off the school year as divorced parents is that your children still have two parents who love them and want to support their education. If you have joint legal custody, you need to work jointly with the other parent on education decisions. Minimize the number of third parties that are brought into your discussion until it is necessary. Then those third parties should be brought in to either elicit their input or to provide information that the third party needs to perform their role.

If you are experiencing unresolved conflicts with your ex-spouse, do not hesitate to contact our office at (248) 329-0344 for assistance in reaching an agreement that is best for your children.